Hazy With A Chance Of Sunshine

I have been learning pole dancing for 5 months and whenever I get a chance, I try to persuade my girlfriends to try it. Now, if you think pole dancing = stripper training, read this and this first, so we can start again. Ready now? Thank you.

Found this gem today:

Okay, 80% of you will not understand any of the jokes. And that’s because until you are Jenyne Butterfly and Retchless, you don’t get to check off a list of combo moves like they’re groceries. However, we do say a lot about dry-hands and bruises.

Done horizontally

Done vertically

By examining some actual sh*t we say in the studio, I found a few lessons to learn for millennial who need some practices in the art of falling and getting back up.

1) Look,  I got this last week! [Point at ungodly looking bruise]

I’ve been mistaken as a cutter because I’ve put bandaid on my blistered wrist after a few body spirals. I look domestically abused because my legs are bruised at least twice a month. As pole dancers, we brag about these wounds like soldiers .

It’s the simple rule of no pain no gain. A boring person is someone who’ve never been through sh*t. Your battle scars are your motivation. They remind you that you’ve gone this far and will only keep going.

2) Now, let go of your [hand/feet/both]

Your inner thighs are burning, your hands are starting to sweat and the panic kicks in. Do you dare to let go and lean back into a recliner? The reality is that the more you think about it, the less likely you’re going to do it. Often times we know what we are capable of but our brain tells us otherwise, so we slide back down to the ground and accept the “limit”. Do you dare to change your career because deep inside you know it’s time to jump? Do you dare to take a break knowing that it will only help you in the long run? Do you dare to let go of an unhealthy relationship? Do you dare to forgive?

3) Damn it, I’ve done it before!

The learning curve for pole is not a linear one. You could bruise and burn for weeks doing the same thing. Just as you’re convinced that you can never do it, one day, you climb up , take a deep breathe and it happens like it’s always been there. Any type of skills take conditioning and you can only take it to the next level if you’ve done it enough. I was fired from my first internship for sucking at phone calls. Many fake-it-to-make-it sessions later, I now take care of relationship building and serve as the primary business contact for my company. Do it, suck at it, do it again a little differently, repeat. Then one day, it will happens just like that.

4) How long have you been pole dancing? ( translation: why are you this good?)

It’s annoying that once in a while you run into instructors who had only pole danced for 8 months . They typically have long legs and invincible abs to shame  any man. It’s also annoying that some girl in your class who is 2 times bigger than you, can do twice as much stuff as your skinny ass. It’s annoying to learn that most of the billionnaires under 30, didn’t even finish college. Argh!

There is no rationalization behind this one because the moment you start thinking that life is unfair, your world becomes a dark, meaningless place. Your only way out is to turn these people into inspiration and be their friends. Always surround yourself with inspirations. Positive energy is contagious.

It was clear last night at the Oscar that some executives thinks that its a good idea to target the millennial demographic by letting Anne Hathaway and James Franco play hosts. It’s not their fault that someone higher up didn’t understand that a youthful Oscar is almost an oxymoron. People weren’t looking for Bruno Mars showing up on a pixie bike on the red carpet. Instead, the show is supposed to be a night of old school Hollywood glamor, decidedly elegant in a world where elegance is but a thing in the past.

Anyway, I’m not here to comment on the Oscars marketing direction. The reason why James Franco’s very visible sucking on his job bothered me is that, why did he think that it’s okay to suck for 4 hours without attempting to pull himself together? Salon.com ran a very insightful speculation on on why Franco acted the way he did.  It went like this: Franco went in hopefully for the gig, realized it’s fruitless half way, spiraled down into self loath with an overwhelming sense of futility, knew that Anne Hathaway was trying to haul a million cows up the hill in her ever-changing gowns, yet was unable to do anything. So he just gave up, he stood there and was remembered as the worst host in history.

Yes, trying to host a youthful Oscar is a stupid idea. Just look at Jesse Eisenberg’s face whenever some old people mentioned facebook to his face. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he should pretend to politely smile or focus all his energy to stop his eyes from rolling out of the sockets. Yes, pairing a super high energy person with an introvert as hosts is a stupid idea. Yes, a Marilyn Monroe drag show is a stupid idea. Even Anne Hathaway knew that. But the reason why she sucked in glory instead of shame was that she tried, really really hard. It’s a job, it has to be done, and there is something called professionalism in the world even when everything is stupid, your partner sucks and you are entirely on your own.

As 20 something years old, it was terrifying to see how our generation was being represented last night: apathetic, unprofessional, self loathing, stoned, unmotivated, insincere, smug and remote. And being in the midst of it all, i know in my heart that my generation is smart, persevering, driven and are survivors of THIS very great depression. Is it a gender issue like this Wall Street Journal article suggested? When the girls are thriving to replace the Meryl Sheep of our world like The Devil Wears Prada, the guys are forever stuck in the Pineapple Express?

I liked James Franco as an actor. I gave him kudos for taking on serious and challenging works like Milk, Howl and 127 days. I think that he is an artist, an intellectual, someone maybe often a little complex for the world. In fact a lot of us are like that. A lot of us refuses to find a job we don’t care about or try to do unpaid work to pursue your dreams. It’s all fair and honorable but the bottomline is, if you have agreed to be responsible for something, it isn’t about what you think anymore, its about getting it done even if you have to fake it to make it.

Like James Franco, we are competing in a world of veterans. People as old as our parents are applying for the same jobs as fresh grads, for the position that I am hiring. And our advantage? We are energized and not jaded. We are idealistic and we shoot high and pray. And if that means we need to pull off a drag show, sing a musical number solo without Hugh Jackman, we’re doing it because we have no kids, no background, no 20 years worth of reputation as burdens. Being young and “hip” doesn’t give you license to suck.  Being inexperienced and new among a world of veterans doesn’t give you license to take your bad performance for granted. Being young and hip and new means you just need to try even harder until you are no longer young, hip and new. Then you can come up like Billy Crystal, like Kirk Douglas, and not give a damn.